Lame emo post because whatever.
I miss family. I miss being able to see them whenever I wanted. Getting stuck abroad & going years without having a look at my loved ones was not how I pictured it back then. In my mind's eye there was satisfaction everywhere -contentment & happiness. Not this sick frustration that makes you wanna throw up every time you think about what's gonna happen next.
Our inside jokes, the long breaks, snuggling into comfy blankets in front of the heater eating peanuts, Scrabble games when I messed up the board cause I was waaay behind everyone else, furiously intense Ludo games, annoying everyone with constant cartoon network all day, word building, ghar ghar complete with a full kitchen set, scary stories, late-night trips....
right now, I don't care how depressed sad sorry weak whatever I sound like.
let it all out.
I miss friends. being out of touch sucks. it gives rise to stupid misunderstandings. i miss old times with them. when none of this auntys wala gossip shit was involved. why didnt i just take the right step in the beginning? kia bakwas hai. dosti is precious. i dont want to lose it with any of them. although i was being all pfft-not-gonna-miss-anyone-glad-this-is-over when exams ended, i miss each and everyone like freaking hell. laugh so often at the memories that my family thinks i am retarded. constantly kick myself inwardly at my unjustified rash behaviour.
stupid regrets. clog up my brain. cannot think enough of the golden times i did get to spend with both family and friends.
All-time-low? no. i think it's yet to come.
life chockful of useless bullshit. negative thoughts swirling through surroundings all the time. need detox. need OUT....
i hate this font with all my being.
Eat pray war.
1 week ago